From Faithful Soldier to Beloved Daughter

 

 

I have a great Dad. I mean seriously if you looked up “Great Dad” in the dictionary this guy’s picture would probably pop up. Patient, Strong, Loyal, Consistent, Passionate, these are all words I would use to describe him.

 

Over the years I’ve had the opportunity to disciple and help a lot of young people in the beginning stages of their walk with God. I’ve also had the opportunity to watch them struggle to come to terms with God as a “Loving Heavenly Father” because their experiences with their earthly fathers were anything but loving. I’ve also seen people who take to God as a Father figure almost immediately because they never had a father and it is a void they have always been missing.

 I guess for me it was the opposite. I had such a great dad that I didn’t really think I needed God in that way. To me God took on a different role. I looked to him more as a coach. He’d tell me the plays and send me out onto the court to execute them; all the while he looked on from the sidelines. Or better yet he was like the commander in chief and I was his faithful soldier ready to serve in whatever mission he may lay out for me. Now let me start by saying those mental pictures I had of God are not entirely wrong. God is like our coach cheering us on from the sidelines, he is our commander in chief and he does have a mission for our lives and a great purpose that he desires for us to fulfill.

 But the problem comes when that becomes our only view of who God is. Because if God is only our coach, what happens when we lose the game or don’t perform up to par?  If God is only our Commander in Chief, what happens when we make a tactical error or misinterpret directions that cause us to lose a battle? You see those perceptions of God only allow him to love us when we are doing something for him, when we are serving, when we are succeeding. My revelation of God as a Father came when I actually became a parent myself; or more specifically when I watched my husband become a dad.

It’s quite an amazing experience to watch a grown man turn into a pile of mush at the sight of a 7lb 4oz baby girl. He loved her before she was ever capable of doing anything in return. The first couple weeks after we brought Eliana Kate Sanseverino home from the hospital we didn’t even turn on the TV. We just sat and stared at her for hours. All she did was sleep and poop, but we were fascinated. It was in one of those moments when I was watching Shawn stare at our baby girl that I felt God speak to me as clear as if he was standing in the room, “That’s exactly how I look at you”

 Sure, I had imagined God looking down on me with pride in the moments of my life where I had made a wise decision, or for successfully serving in a ministry, but this was different. When Shawn looked at Eliana it wasn’t so much that he looked at her with pride, as she wasn’t really able to do anything to be proud of yet. It was love. He looked at her with the purest, most untainted form of love I had ever seen. The kind of unconditional love that seemed to whisper, “no matter what you do, no matter what you become or don’t become, I will always love you.”  Oh the freedom that comes with that kind of love! All my life I had been running around trying to do the right thing to earn God’s approval, to make Him love me when all along I had missed the point. He already did. From before I was born He knew me, He chose me, He LOVED me. Not because of what I could do for Him, not contingent on how I behaved or how strongly I served him. He just loved me, in spite of me, He loved me. And he loves you too. Whether you’re close or far from him in this moment, He loves you.

Romans 8:38 says it best:
“I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.”

I am choosing to live my life in the freedom that comes from knowing that kind of love. It’s so liberating to experience it. I have changed my mentality from that of a Faithful Soldier to a Beloved Daughter.

 

 God is love. He didn’t need us. But he wanted us. And that is the most amazing thing. ~ Rick Warren